Your wedding vows are the heart of your ceremony—a chance to speak directly to your partner, in your own words, about the love and commitment you share. Your one chance to tell the world how you really feel without getting shit-stirred.
It doesn’t have to be daunting or overwhelming but how do you sum up your love, your promises, and your hopes for the future in just a few minutes?
As a celebrant who’s helped countless couples create unforgettable ceremonies, I’ve got tips to make the process easy and meaningful.
Where to find Inspiration for your Wedding Vows?
Think about your relationship: What moments stand out? What makes your partner uniquely them?
Look back at photos, emails, or even texts to spark ideas. If you still have the first text they ever sent you it’s either going to be hilarious or have everyone reaching for the tissues.
Consider your favorite memories, shared values, or future dreams.
A good way to start if you’re stuck is by choosing three words that describe your partner or your relationship. These words will guide the tone and content of your vows.
Example Words: Loyal, hilarious, supportive.
Example Sentence: "You are my rock, my daily dose of laughter, and the person I can count on through everything."
Keep a notebook or notes app handy to jot down ideas as they come to you. Focus on what comes to mind when you think about your partner—don’t
How to Structure Your Wedding Vows
Don’t overcomplicate it. You want them to sound like you. Unless you do a lot of creative writing it can be really challenging to write how you speak. You’re going to be saying these out loud, so think about leaving yourself voice notes if that’s easier.
Here’s a simple structure:
Start with why you fell in love or what you admire most about your partner.
Share a memory that represents your relationship.
Make your promises—whether heartfelt, funny, or both.
End with a look toward your future together.
For the love of all that is holy matrimony DO NOT ask ChatGPT. Use your own voice and don’t be afraid to include:
A bit of humor (if that’s your style). You’re speaking to your partner, not the audience. If they don’t get the joke it doesn’t matter.
A favorite quote or lyric, as long as it feels authentic.
Keep Your Vows Short and Sweet
While there’s no “perfect” length, 1–2 minutes (about 600 words)* is plenty to say what you need to without losing the attention of your guests. Remember, it’s not about the length—it’s about the meaning.
This is not the speech you’re going to make at the reception which can be a bit longer and include a funny story or two. Your wedding vows are an acknowledgement of how precious the relationship is and what you are committing to for the rest of your lives.
You will be nervous so practice saying them out loud reeeeeeleeee slowwwleeeeee. If it sounds in your own head like your speaking too slowly it’s probably about the right pace.
Under no circumstances “wing it” and don’t try to memorize them. Most celebrants will ask for them in advance so they can be printed out (or put on their iPad) for you to read from on the day. I print them onto decorative cards that you get to keep afterwards.
*This whole blog post is 600 words
Need Help Writing your Wedding Vows?
I’ve got you covered.
I’ve created a more detailed guide, Vows That Wow, packed with practical tips, prompts, and real-life examples to help you craft vows that feel like YOU. We start with the “pick three words” method and keep expanding until you have exactly what you want.
Grab your copy from my resources page here:
And if you’re looking for even more support with your ceremony, I’d love to be part of your big day. As a celebrant, I don’t just create beautiful ceremonies—I help couples bring their love stories to life.
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