Today I Googled “bride over 40” and what the G-gods presented me with was innumerable websites telling what wedding dresses were suitable for me. The whole first page showed links to lists like “modest wedding dresses for mature brides” or “best wedding dresses for older brides”. What the actual?
Ok so maybe that was the wrong search, let’s try “weddings over 40”. You get “tips & tricks for middle-aged weddings” or “how to plan the perfect second wedding”. Depressing isn’t it. You don’t feel middle-aged and it may well be your first trip down the aisle.
Is marriage over40 mature, or middle-aged, or neither?
Do you hate the word “mature” as much as I do? To me it implies serious, dowdy, out of touch and generally not much fun. I mean, maybe not always, but in this context, where some Gen Y running a wedding blog is suggesting what is appropriate for me to wear to my own wedding. Yeah, nah.
My point being, is that the wedding industry is totally geared toward the bright young things of our age. All the marketing, all the blogs, all the social media, ALL THE THINGS are reaching out to couples in their 20’s and early 30’s – which is stupid because couples are marrying much later these days. I work with many couples in their late 30’s or early 40’s who’ve been together ages and already have a family.
If I try to seek out more thoughtful, sophisticated, intelligent and experienced wedding vendors I’m simply told what dresses I shouldn’t wear.
Many more first marriages over 40.
Once upon a time, almost everyone getting married for the first time was in their early 20’s. Most weddings for the over 40’s were second time around, low-key affairs; probably at the registry office as the church wasn’t keen on marrying divorced people.
I see getting married later in life as a real bonus. You know who you are, you know your partner probably won’t change much. You know what you want out of life and what you think is worth celebrating.
You understand that who is there and how you feel is WAY more important than having bows on every chair or buying matching satin robes for your bridesmaids. If you even have bridesmaids.
You have the confidence to wear what you like, invite who you want and probably put on your own makeup. You want to look and feel like the best version of yourself and are not prioritizing how the shots will look on Instagram. You know what suits you and don’t want to just copy the latest eyebrow trend.
If you want to go full on white-dress with all the traditional trimmings, you go girl… but if you want to wear a cute little playsuit on the beach with bare feet JUST DO IT!
If you'd like my hit list of all the crap you don't need to buy to make your wedding spectacular, here's the link to my resources pages where you can download it.
Getting Married Later in Life
When I’m approached by older couples (I often marry people in their 60’s and 70’s) they always say “something simple” but after a few chats I discover what they really mean is something meaningful and memorable that still looks like a wedding but isn’t a copy of the impersonal, boring events they went to in the 80’s and 90’s.
Getting married is still a really big deal, and very important to them. They want words that mean something to them personally. They often want to involve their adult children or grandchildren. They want to include wedding traditions that have meaning to them as a couple and leave out the rest – or morph them into something that will leave a lasting impression on their families.
You need a celebrant who can connect with you; but also with your old aunties and the young people. I speak many languages. Boomer and Gen X fluently, I have a fair bit of Gen Y (my own kids) some millennial (my step-kids) and can still remember a smattering of toddler once I get my ear back in.
I got rizz, no cap. Book a chat with me today!
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